Orestes and Pylades – “Make friends and not relatives only, because out of a thousand relatives, the best friend is he who, although a stranger, becomes one with you in life”.
- Orestes was the son of Agamemnon, the leader of the campaign against Troy.
- Pylades was his cousin, with whom they had grown up together in Phocis and had become inseparable.
- Their friendship is a model of love and devotion, as you will see from the following excerpt, from which the exploration of genuine, true or as Aristotle calls it, complete friendship will begin.
The scene takes place in the palace of Argos, where Menelaus, Agamemnon’s brother, now rules. It has been decided that Orestes and his sister Electra must be executed as the murderers of their mother. Pylades suggests to his cousin and friend Orestes that he escape, but Orestes fears that the Erinyes, the deities who punish matricide, will drive him mad in order to prevent his escape.
And Pylades reassures and encourages him:
Pylades: But I will take care of you
Orestes: It is difficult to touch a sick man
Pylades: Not for me, of course, if it is you.
Orestes: Be careful that you do not catch my madness too
Pylades: Let it go!
Orestes: Then you will not hesitate?
Pylades: Hesitation among friends is a great evil.
Orestes regains his courage, thinks that his action was just and deserves to be saved, and turns with gratitude to his friend:
Orestes: Here is that old saying “make friends and not just relatives”, because out of thousands of relatives, the best friend is the one who, although a stranger, becomes one with you in life.
However, Pylades is not the only loyal friend. And Orestes loves his friend so much that he tries to free him. He asks him not to get involved in the affair, but to continue his life happily. But this is unacceptable to his friend:
Pylades: “And what will I say when I return to Delphi, the citadel of Phocis, that I was your friend when everything was good, but when misfortune found you I ceased to be? No, that is not possible. It is my own business.”
Pylades loves himself, wants to be honored and to enjoy the esteem of gods and men in this or the other world, to remain a virtuous man. And he wishes the same for his friend. And it is precisely here that we will encounter Aristotle’s thought:
“The feeling of friendship consists in desiring for another what one considers good, for the sake of one’s friend and not for oneself, and in desiring, as much as possible, to make them a reality.”
This is how Aristotle defines friendship in his “Rhetoric,” and now you may be trying to discover if there is any of your friends who evokes in you this feeling of friendship, as described in the definition. Most probably, they will not evoke something so strong in you. Some of them will come quite close, but such a deep feeling, such a strong love, is rare.
